The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
