He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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