i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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