Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
