How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
