My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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