what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
people are starting to question the shark bite story
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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