So drunk its hurt
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
