well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
the room spins SO much faster in panama
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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