Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
he thought i was a dude.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
