Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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