can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
The feeling are messing with the penis
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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