Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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