The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
