can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
