Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
