sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
