just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize