...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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