Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
