Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
