Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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