Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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