the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
