There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
