Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
