Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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