In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
