I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
