This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
