she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
