It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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