god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
