Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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