STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm jealous of your bromance
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
