Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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