I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
