I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
my god I love twenty year old dicks
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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