thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
