Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
