those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
