i don't like sucking hair
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
