Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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