Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
