i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
