soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
