one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
There was a lot of him and a little penis
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize