I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
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