It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
