Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
