Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
