Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
