Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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