S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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