This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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