only if we run a train.
done.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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