how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
