Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
