At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
