Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize