How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
