Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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