I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
