i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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