So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
home. puking in laundry basket.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
