Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
So many bounce houses so little time
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
