there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
