my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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